Silly Questions by Jason Love

Silly Questions by Jason Love 09-61

noreply@blogger.com (Jason) — Tue, 28 Jul 2009 22:33:00 +0000

What if you're the one your mother warned you about?

How about in addition to the speed limit, we have an age limit.

How do wealthy rappers stay so angry?

Can't only 50% of the population be overweight?

Where the hell are my memory pills?

Why do we call it a deadbolt? Because if we don't use it, we'll die?

Don't you hate when you wake up hung over and the birds outside are singing like nothing's wrong?

Do dice really roll? Why don't we "tumble the dice"?

Does Visine also lobby for the legalization of marijuana?

How come The Hulk's shirt came off, but never his pants?

Why don't homeless people just deal drugs? What's the worst that can happen? They get sentenced to food and shelter?

Quaker oatmeal says, "May reduce the risk of cancer." All right, why don't you get back to us when you're sure?

Is it fast-food because they cook it fast or because we eat it fast?

Silly Questions by Jason Love 09-31

noreply@blogger.com (Jason) — Mon, 27 Apr 2009 07:10:00 +0000

How about a horn in the rear of the car to ward off tailgaters?

Why don't we ever drop daisies on other countries to let them know that we love them?

In baseball, why do we call it a strike when they miss the ball?

Can telepathics hold silent book readings?

Is any dance more positive than the cancan?

Why do we call them officers when they're never in an office?

Who cleans up after Seeing Eye Dogs?

Isn't ADHD an unfairly long acronym?

Silly Questions by Jason Love 09-21

noreply@blogger.com (Jason) — Sat, 14 Feb 2009 02:22:00 +0000

If you publish a book on kleptomania, should you expect a certain amount of profit loss?

Why does the Easter Bunny hide eggs? Maybe we should have an Easter Chicken.

Was it a dyslexic who started putting the $ sign in front of the numbers?

How do we know it's a man on the moon and not a woman?

Wouldn't it be better to call the timepiece on our wrist a "glance"? How often do we actually watch it?

When someone steals your identity, is that the highest form of flattery?

Do we call them watchmen because they sit around watching TV?

Does Visine lobby for the legalization of marijuana?

Why is a settling house so unsettling?

What does the other side of a smiley face look like?

Why are plastic surgeons so ... imperfect?

Where did God come from?

Silly Questions by Jason Love 08-91

noreply@blogger.com (Jason) — Sat, 27 Sep 2008 06:20:00 +0000

Vegas taxed my winnings. Does that mean I can report my losses?

Five bucks a gallon?! Is it time to start crying over spilled milk?

Why is there boxing at the Goodwill Games?

I'm high on life now, but who's to say that I won't develop a tolerance?

Where's my slip-and-fall lawsuit?

Why do we call 'em novels when they're mostly unoriginal?

Is talk still cheap if you use a lot of ten-dollar words?

Only I can prevent forest fires? Isn't that a lot of pressure?

Silly Questions by Jason Love 08-81

noreply@blogger.com (Jason) — Sun, 31 Aug 2008 20:36:00 +0000

What if Batman gets bitten by a vampire?

They say that only one in four rapes are reported. How do they know?

Can we spell creativity however we want?

What does "new and improved" say about the old product?

Why don't radio stations skip the cash giveaways and play some bloody music?

Why do we refer to dogs as bitches when cats fit the description so much better?

Does wild rice have to be hunted?

Is it illegal to make out with your wife while the cop writes your ticket?

Why do women tolerate "you guys" when men would never go for "you girls"?

Silly Questions by Jason Love 08-72

noreply@blogger.com (Jason) — Thu, 31 Jul 2008 22:13:00 +0000

Why are there signs that read "no shoplifting"? Is there a place where it's okay?

Are there crash courses on how to fly?

Did they intentionally make grammar hard to spell?

Shouldn't Ronald McDonald be, like, heavier?

How about Braille alphabet soup for the blind?

Why do we sing "Take Me Out to the Ballgame" when we're already there?

Is it really low-fat, or does the serving just fit in the palm of your hand?

Do advertisers specify "free gift" to distinguish between those gifts that cost money?

What is the opposite of medium?

Why does honey come in plastic bears and not plastic bees?

Silly Questions by Jason Love 08-71

noreply@blogger.com (Jason) — Fri, 11 Jul 2008 17:45:00 +0000

Shouldn't a French kiss be when you peck someone on either cheek?

Why are his-and-her presents always for her?

I have "juicy green apple shampoo." Is it important that the apples were juicy?

Is Carl's Junior a one-star restaurant?

Are girls growing breasts bigger and faster, or am I turning into a pervert?

Where does the "o" come from when we abbreviate "number"?

When someone is yelling at you in sign language, do you just close your eyes?

When we get a woman President, will her husband be the First Man?

Have you ever had a piece of cake so good, you want to make out with it?

Silly Questions 08-62

noreply@blogger.com (Jason) — Tue, 01 Jul 2008 04:17:00 +0000

Do we abbreviate ADD because it's too long to say?

So you can wear a bikini in public but not underwear?

How come Jesus didn't turn water into beer for the rest of us?

Why don't hockey teams just hire 800-pound goalies?

How do you know when circuses are being fumigated?

How come milk is four bucks a gallon? Does the President have stock in that too?

What if you don't have time for a time management course?

Silly Questions 08-61

noreply@blogger.com (Jason) — Sat, 14 Jun 2008 00:09:00 +0000

Why don't you ever see ads for advertising companies?

"It's all good" ... was that Nietzsche?

Is "word of mouth" different from, say, "word of armpit"?

Did Grant's troops march Leeward?

Call me radical, but why can't we talk on elevators again?

Where do cuckoos find all of these abandoned clocks?

What's wrong with being "over the hill"? Isn't downhill easier?

Is "tax" another way of pronouncing "takes"?

Where are all the mentally handicapped parking spaces for people like me?

Shouldn't women earn bachelorette's degrees?

Silly Questions 08-52

noreply@blogger.com (Jason) — Sat, 31 May 2008 06:21:00 +0000

Why does "middle of the night" come after "end of the night"?

Can they prevent me from paying my phone bill in pennies?

Why is Broadway so confined?

Has your mate ever called you at work to ask where the remote control is?

Do Asians ever say to hell with it and grab a fork?

Why not a license to breed?

Was the person who invented the Express Lane at the grocery store properly thanked?

Why not making hockey more interesting and use a white puck?

Silly Questions 08-51

noreply@blogger.com (Jason) — Thu, 22 May 2008 22:29:00 +0000

Why won't my bankruptcy attorney accept payments?

Is Florida shaped like a handgun on purpose?

Why do we call them oranges when half of 'em are yellow?

Was Einstein insulted when you offered a penny for his thoughts?

Why do we say "eats like a bird" when every day a bird eats its own weight in food?

Why do Scandinavians keep writing O's and then just crossing them out?

Does Robert De Niro know that it's okay to turn down roles?

How come I can't find Chicken Soup for the Chicken's Soul?

Why do we say "heads up" when we mean "duck"?

What's does it hurt like hell to hit your funny bone?

Silly Questions 08-43

noreply@blogger.com (Jason) — Tue, 29 Apr 2008 23:01:00 +0000

If it's friendly fire, shouldn't they use blanks?

How long do fish wait to swim after they eat?

Do turkeys get sleepy from that thing in turkey that makes you sleepy?

Is it really necessary for L.A. to have a zoo?

Did they purposely make dyslexia hard to spell?

What do you call it when fat people swim naked?

Is it wrong to enjoy the smell of your own gas?

Why do we still call it "shipping" when it goes by plane and truck?

Who wants to own a convertible that you drive only to work and back?

Why do they call it weed when it's so hard to grow?

Silly Questions 08-42

noreply@blogger.com (Jason) — Mon, 14 Apr 2008 23:46:00 +0000

Why do kids learn math when they could just use calculators like the grownups?

Do you ever just get the urge to double-click something?

How come there’s a greeting card section for “new babies”? Do they come some other way?

Why don't black guys get white tattoos?

Can’t the postman give it to the garbage man and save us the hassle?

Instead of candy, wouldn't it be easier to take, say, cabbage from a baby?

Do the people who say "God darn it" really think God darns?

If a job is canceled, do hit men get a kill fee?

When you perform a head count, do Siamese twins count as one or two?

Silly Questions 08-41

noreply@blogger.com (Jason) — Sat, 05 Apr 2008 01:27:00 +0000

Will we ever find a cure for that sickness that turns three-day weekends into four-day weekends?

What's wrong with my screen? Why does it need to be saved?

How do I survive without taking essential minerals?

Does Atlas see a chiropractor?

Why not smother forest fires with gigantic blankets?

What is Denny's like when you're sober?

When lap dancers have gas, do they just call in sick?

Silly Questions 08-32

noreply@blogger.com (Jason) — Fri, 21 Mar 2008 00:05:00 +0000

Do we really need a Target and a K-Mart?

How many minutes of fame do I get after taxes?

Do I get to add up the IQs of all my personalities?

Why does the DVD show us parts of a movie that we're ABOUT TO WATCH?

Did Michael Jackson get the sex-change / race-change package?

If car racing is a sport, then everyone on the freeway is an athlete?

When Bill Gates got married, did he just skip the part about "richer or poorer"?

Why isn't there a Ms. Coffee?

Isn't the Big Bang when you lose your virginity?

Silly Questions 08-31

noreply@blogger.com (Jason) — Thu, 06 Mar 2008 01:14:00 +0000

What's the point in asking someone if they lie?

Why should I root for the home team? What have they ever done for me?

Does the Pillsbury Doughboy have any roll models? (Sorry)

Why can't the chicken just appreciate the side of the road she's on?

What's the difference between a parasol and an umbrella? The weather?

Do dogs chase their tales in the opposite direction in the southern hemisphere?

Why do credit card companies preselect me for rejection?

Why do we call it high school? Because everyone's stoned?

Silly Questions 08-22

noreply@blogger.com (Jason) — Tue, 19 Feb 2008 04:23:00 +0000

Should we face the music even if it's country-western?

Why do we want to look like people who don't eat?

What is a bush in the hand worth?

Why do we call it the news when it's always the same damn thing?

If God is within me, is it safe for me to lose weight?

Why didn't the Wicked Witch melt when she sweated?

Would anyone notice if there were no football on Super Bowl Sunday?

Do blind people get a special rate at the movies?

If you have to ask if her boobs are real, does it really matter?

How do itches move when you scratch 'em?

Silly Questions 08-21

noreply@blogger.com (Jason) — Wed, 06 Feb 2008 00:23:00 +0000

Isn't it cruel for "lisp" to have an "s"?

Did Alexander Graham Bell find his calling?

We bless people when they sneeze. Why not when they cough or fart?

Where does the sky begin? Are tall people walking around in it?

Do they make bowling shoes look hideous so that we don't steal them? What do they do about clowns?

If Brad Pitt rapes a woman, is that still illegal?

We have curling in the Olympics. Why not tiddlywinks?

What do the Hawaiians have against the consonant?

Do female boxers fare better before their periods?

Why do we say "forever and ever"? Is forever not long enough?

How many kids actually run away? Don't most of them walk?

Silly Questions 08-12

noreply@blogger.com (Jason) — Fri, 25 Jan 2008 05:30:00 +0000

I've been talking to my plants. Can they die on purpose?

Why won't Webster's accept my submissions?

What if you dream that you're awake? Is that insomnia?

So not even good cavemen went to heaven?

Do lawyers charge $200 p/hr because everyone hates them anyway?

How many ankles do we have -- two or four?

Why do we say "funny as hell"? Is that where all the comedians go?

Do advertisers root for overtime?

Silly Questions 08-11

noreply@blogger.com (Jason) — Fri, 04 Jan 2008 01:35:00 +0000

Which bathrooms do transsexuals use?

When a mime is arrested, does he have the right to remain silent?

When Democrats get their way, do they become Republicans?

Is Michael Jackson under there somewhere?

Does the remote control go inside the dinner knife or outside the soup spoon?

When people go to the bathroom, why do they say they'll be right back? Do they ever stay?

Does Stephen King use ghostwriters?

How does nighttime pore cleanser know when it's nighttime?

If depression is inherited, do I have have hand-me-down blue genes?

How about a meter on the phone to tell us how much money we're spending?

Silly Questions 07-122

noreply@blogger.com (Jason) — Fri, 28 Dec 2007 03:08:00 +0000

Is constipate an irregular verb?

How come we know about the Secret Service?

Why do people with bad breath always want to tell you a secret?

Millions of people are addicted to cocaine -- can we really call it a controlled substance?

How does the thermos know to keep it hot or cold?

How many prisoners can spell incarcerated?

Is anyone else uncomfortable with bathroom faucets knowing where we're at?

If everyone is laughing, I can't be seriously injured, right?

Why are so few people familiar with the word arcane?

Have you ever had to pee so bad that everything else in the world is meaningless?

Did Noah wear floods?

Why do we call it rush hour when no one goes anywhere?

Silly Questions 07-121

noreply@blogger.com (Jason) — Fri, 14 Dec 2007 04:04:00 +0000

Do we say "thought to myself" so that people don't assume we're thinking to someone else?

What do deaf people do for alarm clocks?

What if you have something to say that isn't nice but is kinda funny?

Do dyslexics have the right to arm bears?

What do you call a fly with no wings? A walk?

Why don't the homeless just commit a felony and gain room and board?

Is O.J. still looking for the real killer on a golf course?

Do acrophobic giraffes just lie down?

Wouldn't it be nice if the day came with a reset button?

When does the graveyard shift begin for a mortician?

Silly Questions 07-113

noreply@blogger.com (Jason) — Tue, 27 Nov 2007 01:03:00 +0000

What percent of all children grow up to be statisticians?

As they fall asleep at night, do farmers count sheep ... differently?

What about those of us who want to see the Roadrunner die?

Do we call it "cool" because it prevents us from being warm?

Are there any actual broncos in John Elway's family tree?

Why do our taste buds want us to be fat?

If Albertsons merges with Ralphs, can we call it "Albertson Ralphs"?

Why are passive verbs thinner and leaner than active verbs?

Silly Questions 07-112

noreply@blogger.com (Jason) — Sat, 10 Nov 2007 00:30:00 +0000

Should masochists "do unto others"?

How much would it cost to purchase a car at the movie theater snack bar?

When you leave a brothel, do they thank you for coming?

Is there job security in security jobs?

Do other fruits accept the tomato, or is there ugliness?

Did you see that movie where the guy gets killed?

Do clairvoyant detectives follow the suspect from ahead?

Should a man be flattered when his wife finally breaks wind?

Silly Questions 07-111

noreply@blogger.com (Jason) — Thu, 01 Nov 2007 07:00:00 +0000

Why do we say things are on fire when it's always the other way around?

Remember when it took two hands to carry $50 worth of groceries?

How can there be "every corner" of a round world?

When cars are solar-powered, how will car chases end?

Do all-you-can-eat buffets come with a time limit?

Have you ever been so bored at work that you look through your inbox?

What's ironic about a black fly in your Chardonnay? Is a white fly also ironic?

Do the homeless have all the carts with functional wheels?